Actions and Consequences
by Penfold66
Summary: Merlin is anxious but cannot tell Arthur why. Arthur is certain he knows the reason. He is wrong. Series One, Episode Twelve "To Kill the King" - Missing Scene. Rated 'M' for a reason. Don't want slash? Don't read...


Just now, things in Camelot were much too fraught for Arthur's liking.

So much had happened within the last two days. Gwen's father had been accused of aiding a sorcerer, immediately imprisoned pending trial and then killed by guards whilst trying to escape from jail. Morgana had been furious upon hearing about this and had ended up spending a whole day in the dungeons for daring to challenge how Uther had handled the matter. Arthur also thought that his father had been heavy handed and that the death of the blacksmith had been a pointless tragedy. He had not challenged his father as Morgana had, but he did spend a whole morning reasoning with the King to release his ward from jail. It had been exhausting. Gwen - of course - was inconsolable. He'd been to speak with her, offering help and condolences which he felt were woefully inadequate given what she had lost at the hands of his own father's pathological hatred of all things magical. Knocking at and then entering her house had been one of the hardest things Arthur had done in his life. By chance, Merlin had been there when Arthur arrived and he'd felt glad to have the boy in the room as he spoke with Gwen. Somehow it had helped.

Back in his chambers he sat at his table with his head in his hands, utterley exhausted. He felt he'd done as much as he could for now for both to Gwen and Morgana. Gwen needed time to absorb what had happened to her, and Morgana needed time to calm down and see reason. Arthur knew that the King's ward and her maidservant were very close and hoped that they would help eachother through this difficult time.

He sometimes envied Morgana and Gwen's relationship. Gwen could sense Morgana's mood and was always attentive and understanding when the need arose. For her part, Morgana was fiercely loyal to her maidservant and would suffer no insult or injury to Gwen - this whole episode had been ample proof of that, if any were needed!

As he pondered all this, Merlin entered the chambers and quietly begun his evening chores.

Merlin was yet another cause for concern and Arthur had no idea what was eating at the boy. This was the last thing that the Prince needed tonight, having had so much to deal with over the last couple of days. His manservant was a bundle of nerves lately! He still attended to his duties as he was expected to, but his brain was somewhere else entirely.

The Prince and the manservant had something of a routine in the evenings where Merlin would tend to the armour and weaponry whilst Arthur worked his way through (usually exceedingly tedious) court documents. Merlin was actually supposed to undertake the cleaning in the armoury, but he claimed that it was 'cold and spooky' in the evenings and in all honesty Arthur actually relished the sound of the whetstone on metal, the clink of armour and Merlin's mindless prattle about what went on below stairs in the castle. It generally made working through court documents a lot more tolerable when Arthur had Merlin to entertain him. He'd never admit this of course, instead he'd huff impatiently and grumble that Merlin was distracting him from the business of the realm. Merlin - naturally - ignored these complaints and blathered on regardless.

As usual this evening the boy finished turning down the bed, setting a new fire in the grate, changing and lighting candles and settled down at the other end of the table to set to work on the weaponry. After a time Arthur realised that Merlin hadn't said anything and had been sharpening his best sword for almost two hours. Generally Merlin would spend about half an hour on each sword - maybe more if it had taken a particular battering during training. Arthur looked up when he realised that he's managed to read and sign four whole documents without any disturbances from his manservant. Merlin's eyes were looking off into the middle distance as his hands worked automatically, sharpening the blade.

"I think that one is sharp enough to shave with now, Merlin" he said sarcastically.

"Mmmmm" replied Merlin distractedly - and carried on sharpening the same blade, with the same thousand-mile stare.

"Merlin, you'll ruin the blade if you grind it any more!" said Arthur a little more heatedly.

"Eh?" said Merlin, blinking at Arthur like he only just realised he was there. "Oh. Yes"

He put the sword down. Arthur carried on reading. Merlin hadn't moved after half a minute. Arthur glanced up surreptitiously through his fringe to see Merlin staring off into space again. He was on the verge of opening his mouth to say something when Merlin's hands closed around the sword and whetstone and he began sharpening the blade again.

"Oh for the love of all that is good!" exclaimed the Prince, leaping up and grabbing the things from Merlin's hands. Merlin jumped in astonishment. "Have you been listening to anything that I said?" demanded Arthur, waving the whetstone in Merlin's face.

"Y-yeah?" replied Merlin, unconvincingly. The boy was the most rubbish liar that the Kingdom had ever known, thought Arthur.

"What the hell is wrong with you this evening, anyway? Your brain (what little there is of it) is miles away!"

"Everything's fine" replied Merlin much too quickly, "All good. Good, in fact. Shall I polish your armour?"

"Yes Merlin, just don't rub a hole in it" grumbled the Prince retaking his seat and shuffling through paperwork.

Merlin heaved a huge sigh and placed the hauberk onto the table in front of him. Arthur watched surreptitiously through his fringe. Merlin did seem to be concentrating on the job in hand a bit more now. Satisfied Arthur bent his head and carried on reading and writing. After a few minutes of doing so, he thought he may be getting a little weary because the words seemed to be blurring in front of his eyes. He put down the quill, put his elbows on the table and covered his eyes with the palms of his hands to rest them a little. It was then that he felt the rythmic shake of the table. He looked up puzzled to where Merlin worked. The boy was holding the hauberk slightly above the table surface to polish it so that wasn't causing the table to move. Frowning, Arthur looked underneath the table to see Merlin's left leg jumping nervously and bashing the table leg.

"Merlin!" he shouted, "Will you stop twitching! This table is moving so much I am beginning to feel seasick!"

"What now!" countered Merlin, "I'm not doing anything!"

"Yes you are - your leg is twitching like you have a palsy. Keep it still - I'm trying to work here"

Merlin heaved another put-upon sigh and continued with his polishing. Arthur continued with his reading. Until the words started swimming in front of his eyes again. Again he glimpsed under the table and again Merlin's left leg was dancing a solitary jig. Arthur sighed, put down his quill, rested his hands on the table and looked intently at Merlin over towered fingers. Merlin continued polishing, oblivious to his master's stare and seemingly oblivious to his dancing leg.

This continued for about five minutes before Arthur snapped, slamming his palms onto the table and saying, "Merlin you are driving me madder than usual! Either you tell me what's eating at you or you need to leave these chambers before I do you a mischief"

Merlin looked up from his polishing, eyebrows raised, lips pursed in surprise and - finally - leg stilling beneath the table. He said nothing.

"Well?" demanded the Prince.

"I'm fine" said Merlin a bit puzzled.

"No you're not fine. You haven't stopped twitching and you've barely said a word all evening. If you won't speak to me about what is on your mind then please go away. I don't want to see you again until it's time to bring my supper"

Merlin frowned and looked down at the half polished hauberk in his hand. He paused, drew in a breath as if to speak, thought better of it and instead tutted and stood up. "Fine, then. Sire". He gave a half bow and strode with purpose toward the door - of the antechamber, slamming it behind him as he went in. Arthur stared at the door in puzzlement until a few seconds later a shamefaced Merlin reappeared, said "Oops" and headed off toward the correct exit from the Prince's chambers. He muttered a quiet, "Sire" as he slipped out and closed the door behind him.

After he'd gone Arthur sat down at his desk, court documents all but forgotten, and frowned deeply as he wondered what the hell was eating at Merlin. He knew that the whole episode with Tom the Blacksmith had deeply upset the boy. They had already talked about it at length. If that was still bothering Merlin then the Prince knew that he would have no qualms about speaking of it to him. Heaven knew that Merlin was not at all shy about speaking out when he thought that Arthur (or more often Uther) had done something out of turn. Just this afternoon the Prince had shouted at Merlin out in the courtyard in front of a whole troop of guards. The foolish boy had loudly and stupidly criticised the King for arresting the innkeeper who had given the sorcerer that Gwen's father had been consorting with a bed for the night. As Merlin had blathered on at the top of his voice, Arthur's heart had leapt into his mouth - if the wrong member of the Court heard his foolish manservant voicing such treasonous criticisms of the King and word got back to Uther then Merlin would be the next person spending time in the dungeons...or maybe worse, given Uther's current frame of mind.

Arthur shuddered at an unbidden vision of Merlin on the executioner's block.

It had given the Prince no pleasure to shout Merlin down, and to dismiss him with a curt, "It is not for you to question my father's actions. Now go and get on with whatever you are meant to be doing". He could almost feel the rage and frustration eminating from his servant as the boy stomped off.

Suddenly Arthur had a thought. Perhaps his curt dismissal had upset the boy more than Arthur had intended it to. Perhaps his manservant was feeling unappreciated. Perhaps he was considering leaving the Prince's service again and heading back to Ealdor.

Arthur frowned at this last thought, remembering how lost he had felt when Merlin had resigned all those months ago in order to return to Ealdor to care for his mother and drive out the bandits that had been plaguing his home village. In response the Prince had gone with him and helped defeat the bandits and thus succeeded in keeping his manservant. It had been a strange few days away from Camelot. He had seen Merlin in a whole new light back in his home village. He'd discovered just how deep Merlin's feelings for him were - and in return how much he needed this maddening boy in his life. They had kissed and been intimate and Merlin had declared love for his Master. Arthur hadn't actually said 'the words', but he thought that he had adequately shown Merlin his feelings through his deeds. He'd very much wanted to make love to his manservant again, but somehow it had seemed inappropriate here in Camelot. He knew that if his father found out that he had lain with a man he would be furious and no doubt try to marry him off to the first available noblewoman. He dreaded to think what would become of Merlin if the King found out that it was he that had 'led his son astray'. Despite the lack of physical intimacy they had been through a lot together since returning from Ealdor, and Arthur had felt secure that he had a friend and companion in Merlin, ridiculously, a small part of him hoped for life. . Now he wasn't quite as convinced. He thought on how much Morgana had risked in the last few days because of her love for Gwen and it dawned on him that maybe Merlin had seen the same and thought Arthur lacking by comparison.

Arthur sighed and returned his attention to the pile of court documents in front of him. He would have to think of a way to show his idiot manservant that he really did care about him. He really didn't want to lose him.

Some time later a noisy thud against the door heralded the arrival of Merlin with the Prince's supper. The boy hadn't knocked of course, merely bashed the door as he tried to balance the load whilst using his elbows and feet to push the door open. As he backed into the room Arthur couldn't help but smile fondly at Merlin's awkwardness and wondered lazily how Merlin managed to get the laden tray all the way up from the castle kitchens without dropping it.

"Supper" he said simply as he lowered the tray onto Arthur's table. He nervously glanced at the Prince before heading over to bank up the fireplace for the night.

"Merlin" said Arthur putting down his quill and giving his manservant his full attention.

"Mmmmm?" said the boy, not looking up from his work at the fireplace.

"Merlin" repeated the Prince, "Leave that a moment and come and sit down".

Merlin looked at him a little suspiciously, but stood and walked over to the table, slowly taking a seat on the far side and looking at the Prince quizzically.

"Would you like some wine?" asked Arthur.

Merlin's eyebrows shot up and he looked at the Prince in shock. "Errr" was all that he could say.

"Is that a yes or a no, Merlin?" asked the Prince a little sarcastically, waving the wine ewer just above the goblet on the tray.

"But it's your wine" reasoned Merlin, "and there's only one goblet."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Forget the technicalities for a moment. Do you, or don't you want some wine?"

Merlin jiggled his leg nervously, looked at the wine ewer, looked at Arthur, looked back at the wine and then shrugged one shoulder and said quietly, "Yes please, just a little."

Arthur poured half a goblet and pushed it across the table to Merlin. The boy took a sip and almost instantly a flush of colour rose to his cheeks.

Arthur cleared his throat. "I'm, erm, I'm sorry that I shouted at you earlier."

Merlin said nothing but looked steadily at Arthur, wondering what this was all about.

"Merlin, I have no idea what is troubling you at the moment and I suppose that it is none of my business, and I had no right earlier to demand that you tell me. Even so, I - er - I do worry about you, and want you to know that if it's anything that I can help with then you should not hesitate to ask."

Merlin looked a little bit dumbfounded, but still said nothing. He took another sip of wine, watching Arthur with knitted brow over the top of the goblet.

"The thing is" continued Arthur, a little flummoxed at Merlin's uncharectaristic silence, "The thing is, Merlin, that although I shout and throw things at you and call you an idiot, I - er - really do appreciate having you around and I really want you to stay with me."

Merlin's brows knitted even tighter. "To stay?" he parroted, eyes very briefly glancing over at the bed before returning to gaze at Arthur uncomprehendingly again.

Arthur followed his gaze. "No!" he said quickly, "What I mean is, that I don't want you to stop being my manservant. I don't want you to leave Camelot."

Merlin looked simulteneously a little dissapointed and very confused., "But I wasn't thinking of leaving, Sire" he said. "Whatever made you think that I was?"

"Because, Merlin, you have been suspiciously quiet for the last few days and you have been completely distracted and...nervous."

Merlin didn't respond.

Arthur continued after a few moments, "It's as though something serious is bothering you. Last time you were like this was just before you announced that you were leaving my service to return home to Ealdor, so - please - if something is bothering you and you need my help then don't hesitate to ask."

Merlin looked shiftily off to the side before looking down into the wine goblet and replying in a rather subdued tone, "No Arthur, It isn't something you can help me with this time"

Arthur stared at his manservant and waited for him to continue. Merlin looked down into the wine and swirled the goblet thoughtfully, saying nothing. There was no way that he could tell the Prince what was really on his mind, since it was all about deciding whether to allow Morgana to lead Uther to his death at the hands of the Sorcerer or to do something to prevent it.

"Well?" asked Arthur a little impatiently.

Merlin looked up. "Well what?"

"Well, so tell me what is bothering you!" replied the Prince. In a more concilliatry tone he said, "Even if I cannot help, a problem shared is a problem halved. Talk."

"Arthur" said Merlin, placing the goblet on the table and standing up abruptly, "I really really cannot talk about this, please don't pressure me. It's something I need to work through alone."

As he spoke he started to look a incredibly uncomfortable and started to shuffle toward the door to leave the chambers. Arthur was somewhat startled by this sudden change of mood but had to know what was going on so stepped in front of Merlin to prevent him leaving the room.

Merlin stopped in his tracks in front of Arthur, so close that thier feet were touching. he cast his eyes down to the ground and said in a very small voice, "Arthur, please let me leave, I really can't talk about it."

That was it, Arthur decided, this was obviously all about what had happened between them in Ealdor and what had not happened since. Merlin was obviously feeling like he'd been used and rejected. It was time to clear the air. He leaned in and grasped Merlin's shoulders and put his forehead against the boy's still bowed head. Merlin stiffened in his arms.

"Merlin listen" he said, "What happened between us in Ealdor - it wasn't just..."

Merlin looked up questioningly at the Prince, pulling his head back slightly so that he could look into Arthur's eyes as he spoke.

"...it wasn't - just" continued Arthur, "...but you are my servant and I am the Prince and what we...did...together would be severely frowned upon by my father."

Merlin said nothing but a frown formed between his eyes at the mention of the King and a tremble ran through his whole body. He stared into Arthur's eyes with a piercing gaze.

"What we did together felt like it meant something" said Arthur, "I had never been with a man like that before and never thought it could be so... What I'm trying to say is that I care about you - a great deal - and I don't want you to think that what went on between us was simply a passing fancy. Irritating as you are, you are important to me in a way that I don't really understand and that nobody has ever been before and I don't want to lose you"

Merlin's gaze softened, he smiled and in an only-slightly sarcastic voice he said, "Oh Arthur, and I love you too!"

The flush caused by the goblet of wine he had drunk was high on Merlin's cheeks and when his eyes softened and he smiled Arthur could no longer resist the temptation to just lean in and place a gentle kiss on the boy's lips. Merlin stilled briefly, a little taken aback but then leaned into the kiss. Arthur pulled back, intending to leave it at that, but when Merlin's face moved forward, chasing his retreating lips he smiled and kissed the boy gently again. Soon enough the kiss deepened and Merlin's hands moved up to hold Arthur's face in place in his palms. He let out a small groan when Arthur nipped at his lips and invaded his mouth with his tongue. The groan ignited something within Arthur who, without breaking the kiss, moved his hands down to the boy's hips and started walking him backward toward the bed. 'To hell with propriety', he thought, he wanted Merlin, and he wanted him now.

Merlin's knees buckled as they came into contact with the bed and he fell backwards slowly, the fall controlled by Arthur still holding onto his hips. They didn't break the kiss even during the fall, and when Arthur was laying atop Merlin it became more passionate. Merlin's hands moved up into Arthur's hair and he wrapped his legs around Arthur's waist and pulled him in closer. In doing so his growing erection pressed hard into Arthur's abdomen and Arthur's own arousal pressed against the cleft of Merlin's arse. Both boys let out a groan simulteneously at the contact. Arthur broke the kiss and rested his forehead above Merlin's shoulder trying to wrestle back some self-control. His manservant responded by tightening the grip with his legs and canting his hips forward causing their arousal to make contact with the other's body again. Arthur was lost. In one smooth movement his arms slid upward from Merlin's hips and pulled the boy's shirt off as they went. Merlin obligingly lifted his arms and threw the shirt off to one side. Arthur looked down at the expanse of ivory skin suddenly exposed, a blush spreading across the boy's chest and neck. Merlin looked up at him with heavy lidded eyes breathing hard and trembling slightly, arms above his head. He looked irresistable. Arthur stroked reverently along the shoulder bone to the hollow in the throat and leaned in, kissing and then nipping at his neck. Merlin let out a breathy groan and turned his head aside to allow access to more of his skin. The Prince responded by biting and sucking at the exposed flesh. Merlin squirmed beneath him and began pulling at the Prince's shirt. Arthur helped by briefly disengaging from the boy's throat so that Merlin could pull the shirt off over his head. Once it had gone Merlin pulled him into a tight embrace and caught his lips and renewed their kiss. Now it was deep and messy and frantic. Arthur was almost dizzy from the sudden skin-on-skin contact. This was something that they had not done in Ealdor. His hands roamed over every available bit of skin on Merlin's chest and arms. Suddenly this wasn't enough and he rolled onto his side, letting his hands roam across Merlin's shoulders and back. He caressed the bumps of the boy's spine and marvelled at the wiry muscles of Merlin's body. So unlike his own , but there was strength and beauty in it. In his turn, Merlin was caressing Arthur's chest and arms. He broke the kiss to look down in wonder at the Prince's tight well defined abdominal muscles and traced a line with his long nimble fingers just above the waistband of Arthur's breeches. As his fingers brushed across one particular spot, Arthur gasped and his cock twitched. Fascinated, Merlin repeated the action and Arthur's head lolled back onto the bed as he let out a sound very much like the purr of a young lion. Merlin pushed the Prince over onto his back and moved down the bed, replacing his fingers with his lips, kissing a line along the waistline of Arthur's breeches. The purr became a moan and as Merlin's nose brushed across his bellybutton Arthur rolled his hips and moaned rather pleadingly, "Merrlin".

Merlin paused for just a second before hooking his fingers into the waistband of his master's breeches and then slowly slowly pulling them downward. Despite being more than a little stupid with lust , his manservantly training did not entirely desert him and he managed to pull off his Prince's boots in an orderly fashion before removing the trousers entirely. It was only then that he allowed himself to move back up Arthur's body and to feast his eyes on the flesh that he had exposed. He sat back on his heels on the floor in front of Arthur and for a few moments simply drank in the sight. Arthur was all hard muscle, golden hair and his cock hung hard and heavy and beautiful between his legs. Arthur was laying back on the bed with an arm slung across his eyes, lips parted and breathing heavily. A few moments passed as Merlin looked and looked before Arthur became impatient and looked down at him questioningly. Merlin gave him a small smile before moistening his lips and slowly, tentatively taking Arthur's cock into his mouth, experimentally tasting it then having decided he liked the taste and sucking in earnest. Arthur took a shocked intake of breath before sitting up on the bed, threading his fingers through Merlin's hair and looking down at the sight before him. All his instincts told him to thrust up into the sudden warm wetness, but Merlin's hands rested heavy on his thighs and prevented him from moving. Instead he urged the boy forward with the hand laced into his hair. Merlin pushed back against the hand and looked up through heavy lidded eyes at the Prince staring down at him. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked harder and moved his head backward and forward along the length of Arthur.

Arthur felt his pulse quickening and all the nerve endings south of his navel beginning to sing. "Merlin I..." he said in a husky, frantic voice, "I don't think I can hold on much longer"

Merlin blinked up at him, pulled back from his cock, smiled a rather filthy smile before licking roughly along the base of his shaft and across the opening on the head of his cock and then engulfing him entirely in his warm wet mouth, sucking him deep and humming in contentment. With a startled shout Arthur was coming in long hard pulses. Merlin held on and sucked and licked until he was entirely spent and only when Arthur fell backward onto the bed, boneless did he release his grip. He crawled back up the length of Arthur's heavily panting chest, planting kisses as he went and laying down beside the prince, tracing patterns on his chest as Arthur's breathing settled down.

Eventually Arthur managed to open his eyes and focused on Merlin's face which was studying him from a few inches away. He caught Merlin's head in the crook of his arm and pulled him down so that the boy's head rested on his chest and contentedly ran his fingers through soft curly raven locks and lazily thinking that the only soft thing about Merlin was this hair...and his lips, maybe.

By and by he let out a long sigh, "Merlin" he said, "that was...just...amazing"

Merlin pulled his head up and looked into Arthur's eyes. His eyes twinkled and he grinned before saying in a mock-respectful voice, "I aim to please my master"

Arthur let out a bark of laughter before taking Merlin's chin in his hands and saying in a sincere voice, "No, really, being with you is...incredible." he sighed and wistfully went on, "If only things were different. If only my father didn't expect..."

At the mention of Uther's name, Merlin stiffened and he pulled out of Arthur's grasp and sat up. All merriment was gone from his face. He looked off toward the fireplace and mumbled, "Yeah. I think a lot of things might be better when you become King."

"Merlin?" Arthur asked, confused at the sudden change of mood.

Merlin's focus snapped back to Arthur. "Sorry Sire," he said as he stood up and cast about for his shirt, pulling it rapidly over his head before Arthur even had a chance to sit up. "There's something that needs to be done. Now. Sorry" he leaned in and gave Arthur a quick but bruising kiss. Just as Arthur was warming to the renewed kiss Merlin pulled away again saying, "I have to go. I'm so sorry. Whatever happens tomorrow, know that I love you".

Arthur sat naked and confused on the bed as Merlin dashed off out of his room...


End file.
